It Had To Be You
by Wanderliing
Summary: It was the kind of love that he had never planned and could only end in hurting himself with.- High school AU, Originalshipping. Rated M for mature content and language.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is based on an RP that myself and the girlfriend had where I literally cried, I think I'll be doing two parts for it, but there might be more. We'll see. This is also the longest thing that I've uploaded to fanfiction in a while, I hope you all enjoy!

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One thing that was hard, always hard no matter how you looked at it, be it from the outside, or either point on the inside, was unrequited love. It was one thing that Red knew well, but not that the other party member knew. Red wasn't one for confessing his feelings, or talking things out. He didn't care about clearing his conscience, or getting things all out on the table. Although it could be hard sometimes, being around the object of his affection that is, it wasn't so painful that it needed to stop. No, that was silly. If he said something it would ruin everything. Every moment they spent together the other would be worried about him, worried if that touch was okay, and was it alright to mention his girlfriend? It was just something Red didn't want to deal with. He wanted to be able to meet those brown eyes and that snarky grin and to know that nothing was hiding behind them. To know their friendship, their relationship, was the same as it always was.

Anyone in his position would do the same, Red had already decided on that fact. To know someone your entire life and then to find out slowly over the years you were in love with them, when the knowledge they would never feel the same was a cruel one, but it was one Red could live with. What mattered was that his life stayed the same throughout the years. Simple, planned, pleasant. The way he wanted it.

If things changed, if he mentioned it to Green, everything would change. All of his plans would go to shit.

The question at this point may be something like this: but how would Red know it was one sided if he never said anything?

Red knew Green. He knew Green better than anyone else did, Green included in this. He knew when Green liked someone, and who it was. None of those people had ever been male, but that wasn't what made up Red's mind on the matter. He was sure Green could love a man given the right lead in to it. It was unlikely, but it was possible. No, what made him so certain was because Green had never shown one inkling of romantic thought towards him. Not a single lingering hand, a harshened breath, a lasting gaze… Nothing. Not in the romantic way, that is. Their relationship from Green's point of view had just been a friendship, nothing more and nothing less. Sure, it had been a damn good one, but Red knew that's all it would ever be. So he would never say a word, never let it slip. It was because it was love he would never say it, a love he was so sure of, that he could never let the words leave his lips. It wasn't him saying that he liked someone, it wasn't a crush, it wasn't a phase, it was a love he had slowly felt build and build his entire life. A love that was powerful and overwhelming, but Red couldn't say. Because love was something Green wouldn't be able to ignore, it was something that would have to be addressed like it could be solved. But Red knew how he felt, and he had never felt any hesitation in it, any questioning. It was always a certainty, something he was sure of and didn't really care about changing. To try to change it would just be a waste of time.

Or, that's what he had planned anyway.

It had been one ill-fated phone conversation. It had started off with laughs and discussions. They had been talking about their days, how class had been, college possibilities, Green becoming more and surer that he wanted to become a doctor. He had asked Red what he wanted to do, like he always did, and Red had shrugged over the phone forgetting Green couldn't see before answering that he didn't know yet. It was always the same conversation, never showing any inclination to go different than it always did. But it did, that's why this story was being told in the first place. It had hastily shifted on Red's part, asking Green how he was doing with so and so girl, someone whose name Red hadn't bothered to remember. It was just some girl Green had thought was cute or something and mentioned once, nothing special. His brown haired friend had laughed it off, probably waving his hand in the air on the other side of the phone while Red laid in his bed holding the phone against his ear and staring at a wall in the dark. He said he didn't really care about her, something Red would never say but he knew that he needed to hear that more than anything. That one fact felt so good to know, even though Green could change his mind about her at any time. He could find out he was in love with this girl, and there was nothing Red could do about it. But then Green had asked the dreaded question, the one where he wondered if Red liked anyone. He did this every once in a while, even though Red for the most part always said the same thing. He told him that no, he didn't. Green wondered why, said he was attractive and could get lots of girls and Red would laugh it off. Green had even sat him down before and told him quite seriously that it didn't matter if he was gay, just to let him know, he would always be the same loser best friend he had had since they were kids. Red had told him he wasn't gay and that had been that. It wasn't that Red was gay, it was that he was in love with his best friend who happened to be male. It would have happened no matter what Green's gender was. But Red for whatever reason, maybe it was surprise that the attention had been turned towards, answered that yes he liked someone. Green had been surprised, happy even. A darker part of Red, one that he ignored and pretended wasn't real, a part that he hated, didn't like that. He wanted Green to be secretly jealous the way he was, wanted him to wish that he never got interested in any one. Of course Red always quickly shook off these thoughts, they were silly and would never happen, and he would never want Green to feel the emotions that he felt about him. Not now, not ever.

That moment however, filled Red with so much dread that he had wanted to scream. The last time he had fucked up like this, it had been in middle school. He had completely fabricated an interest in a girl named Diana, a very real person. Green had encouraged him to ask her out, to 'get some', his 13 year old hormones were in charge of him at the time. Red hadn't though, choosing instead to lie about being too shy and quickly moving on. Green had brought her up a few more times after the incident, but Red always shut him down immediately, or changed the subject. Those had been the beginning days, when Red's mind was just beginning to wrap its mind around its feelings for Green.

But this time, it was like that Mean Girls quote, it was word vomit coming out of his mouth. When Green asked him who it was that Red liked, if he knew them, Red told him the he did indeed know him.

"Really?" Green had asked in surprise, his voice going up higher in pitch.

"Yeah," Red had agreed panicking, he didn't know why he was doing this at all, and he didn't understand why he didn't just change the subject now.

"Who is it?" Green asked, pushing with his voice, trying to egg Red on.

"I'm not telling you." Red responded quickly. He felt guilty afterword, his voice had sounded pointed, like he was trying to keep Green out. Well… He was, but he didn't need to expand on the reasons for that at the moment.

"Why not?" Green had also been quick to a reply. That made it harder on Red, he didn't know how to handle that. Green was so legitimately interested…

"Because you know them… Well… And I don't want you to tell them…" Red's voice was slow while he replied. It was true that if he told Green who it was that he would tell them.

There was some small part of Red, a point in his brain that was filled with hope. A tiny part of him did want Green to know, so he could hear him respond, so he could see how he truly felt about him, to see if the feelings were returned. He knew they weren't, and he knew they would never be, but there was some part of his brain that was like a 14 year old girl that feverishly hung onto the hope that if Green knew he would confess his own silenced hidden love for Red as well. But that was unreasonable, and not what was going to happen.

"Oh come on! Who would I tell? Whoever it is I'm closer with you anyway. I promise I won't tell."

Red couldn't yell in response, that wouldn't work, it would just show his frustration and Green would be even more keen to find out who it was. Instead Red quickly answered with a quick and short 'no'.

"Come onnnn!" Green said in frustration, the n in on stretching out as he made his point. "You _never _like anyone! Why can't you just tell me who it is?! They've gotta be something special for you to like them." Oh yes, they were special alright. With stupid brown hair that spiked up, and brown eyes that had layers to them. The kinds that were light but with the dark rim around the outside, the kind that could be stared at. They were like blue eyes sometimes, the way they would change in the light, reflecting and showing all different shades of a color that should seem boring, but wasn't. This person thought they were the hottest shit to ever get a set of legs, and they strutted around on them, full of confidence and charm. The kind of person who you couldn't help but be jealous of, they weren't lacking in anything besides humility. It made Red want to hit a wall and then Green's face, with his fist and then his lips. It was a love that made him angry and happy at the same time, an anger that filled him with a sense of satisfaction, but he knew if he could he would fawn all over Green but… That wasn't an option he had been given in life, and that was something he had to live with and accept.

"They are, but I'm still not telling you." Red wasn't even sure why he kept on talking but it kept coming out, he kept wanting to reply, to satisfy the thirst for knowledge that Green now had obtained.

"Okay… So you won't tell me who they are… But will you tell me about them?" Green asked, voice sincere. He really just wanted to help his friend, his friend who never liked anyone…. Ugh, that made it so much worse.

"What do you want to know about them?" It could be a harmless question… Something Red could just answer ambiguously and move on… Right?

"Let's start of basic!" Green said enthusiastically, but there was also an edge to his voice. He had a plan, Red could tell. He planned for by the end of this to know who Red was talking about. Ha, that was unlikely. "What do they look like?"

"A person."

"Vague. No really, come on. Eye color? Hair color?" Green had a list now, there was no way Red escape.

"Brown, both are brown." How the hell was he going to get out of this?!

The list had continued down, Green pestering more and more, his questions getting more specific. By the end of he had gathered enough information to decide on the matter. He knew Red and the mentioned person were the same age, and around the same height. He knew this person had brown eyes and brown hair, and that they had known each other for a while. He knew that Green and this person were very close (that part had confused him the most). He knew that they were funny, and nice. These were all basic things, but for whatever reason, Green paused.

"Red…" He had said quietly, his voice trailing off. Red could feel his hands getting damp, clammy. They were sweating without him meaning too, his nerves topping. He hadn't meant for the conversation to get as far as it had. He hadn't meant for it to come this close, for him to say this much, for the possibility to be this near.

"This might sound weird but uh…" His voice was so soft, sounding scared to ask. As if he knew what he was about to say was a very large deal, as if he knew it would change things. Red wanted to stop him there, to make this all stop but he couldn't, he couldn't say anything. He could feel his tongue in his mouth, it felt dead. His eyes were wide, terror strong in his chest.

Oh shit.

"The person you're talking about…" Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit. "Is it me?"

Fucking shit.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I never really mentioned this before but when I write I usually aim more for a game verse Green and Red, but they do have aspects of their manga counterparts. I hope you all enjoy this part too! Oh, and this part will also stay in Red's POV, the next one might switch, but I think for the purpose of this story it'll stay focused on Red. Also I'm sorry if this chapter seems like its repeating a lot or anything like that. I think in all honesty I'm going to aim at four or five chapters total for this all now? But the first three or four will all be based on this phone conversation, hopefully that doesn't bore you guys!

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"_That person you're talking about… Is it me?" _

The words echoed in Red's head as he held the phone against his ear. His breathing suddenly felt very loud to himself and he tried to quiet it. He was very aware of every sound he was making, every feeling coursing through his body, the largest being panic. Panic at being found out, panic about telling Green, panic at the thought of all of these years of containing himself, of fighting it down, being for nothing. It horrified him. There were reasons why he had never talked about it before, that much was clear. He could feel his throat contracting in nerves, his ability to speak slowly waning. He knew how long it had been since he talked, his thoughts swirling around him. Had it been only a few seconds? A minute? More than that? Green hadn't said anything yet, so it couldn't have been too long. He didn't know why he hadn't said no yet. Nothing was actually stopping him, aside from his nerves… What was stopping him?

It was the thought, that little part of him that did want Green to know, a part that was always silenced and ignored. But what if he did just say it? He felt his throat opening, his clammy hands clenching without him telling them to on his phone, a cheap piece of plastic that he had begged his mother time and time ago to be replaced. Green had a nicer one than him, and that didn't fly well with Red. Not that new gadgets really mattered to him… He was just always made more and more aware how out of style his was when Blue waved her new phone in his face and laughed at him. The only person who had a phone as old as he did was Yellow*. But that was kind of getting away from the point, Red realized. He was just stalling more on the confrontation part. On the lies, again and again. Even though this question had never been asked before, he had always told himself he would say no.

Not really. He had always wondered if when it came down to it, he would actually be able to lie to Green about it after all.

"Yes." He said before he could truly stop himself from making the biggest mistake of his teenage life. Melodramatic? Perhaps, but it was how he felt in that moment. He felt like he was going to shake, even though it was unlikely. But there was a sense of relief running through his body, like something had been released from him. He hadn't known it would feel as good as it did to actually say it, but it did. Part of Red wondered if Green would question him, if he would say "Really?" because if he did, Red didn't think he could tell the truth again. He didn't know what to want more, Green to question him so he could back out, or for him to follow up on what he had replied.

There was an audible pause; it was as if Red could hear Green's brain slowly processing what it had been told. Red could almost hear the gears in the other's head turning as he decided what to say.

"How long?" He finally said. Maybe the pause in Green's mind had felt as long as Red's, if he had milled over just as many thoughts as he had, as many emotions. It was unlikely, although he was positive the other was definitely surprised about it. Or maybe he wasn't… But that would make it so much worse. To know that everything he had done, all the effort he had put forth not to be found out, not to be detected, had been for absolutely nothing.

"Awhile" Was the small answer that Red finally decided on saying. He didn't want it to go this way. He didn't want to be clinging onto his phone in the dark, scared of losing his best friend. But that's how it had gone; this was where it had brought him. It wasn't a fear of Green finding his homosexuality disgusting or anything along those lines, be that the case life would be easier and Red could just be done with him quickly. No, it was the fear that Green would treat him differently, now knowing it. He would be careful about touching him and hanging out often, he wouldn't talk about his girlfriends. They would end up slowly drifting apart and that thought made Red want to curl up somewhere nice and cold just to die. He wanted to know what happened to Green in his life, where he went, if he got that doctorate like he wanted. Red wanted to see him find the love of his life, get married and have kids, everything. Him being in love with him… It was just another fact; it wasn't stopping him or repressing him in anyway. He just wanted Green to be happy, and he wanted to be there to see it.

"How long is that, Red?" Green pressed. It could be heard in his voice, he was worried. He was wondering how long this had been for; if it had been something serious then it meant he had hurt his best friend. He didn't want that, no one would.

"Don't worry about it."

"What? A month? A few months? Come on just tell me." There was false kindness in his voice now. The intoxicating kind that Red just wanted to curl up into, listening to those sweet words all day, pretending he didn't know that it was all a farce. The girls Green dated could never tell the difference, that's what made them lucky. Red whished at least once in his life he could be in their shoes. Just once.

The kindness wasn't faked in the way one might expect, as it may be to add to avoid confusion. It was faked to hide Green's own insecurities in this moment, to make it seem less like he was worried that he had hurt his friend, instead making it seem like he just playfully wanted to know. This would make Red much more likely to talk about it, and Green knew that. He wouldn't feel like he was setting himself up for some kind of failure. He wouldn't be cut off in his question in this way, left to ask himself in a million ways a million different times about the truth behind the entire thing.

"Longer." Red couldn't lie to him, not with that tone in Green's voice.

"How much longer?" Green paused before adding, "When did you start to like me?"

Good question, Red wanted to say. He wasn't sure himself, only when he started to notice, when he truly began to understand what it actually meant to like him.

"More than a few years." Was the answer Red decided. He wanted to be truthful, no matter how much it terrified him, he just didn't want it to end negatively, and he didn't want to lose his friend.

"A few _years_?!" Green asked in shock, his voice going louder. This hadn't been the answer he had expected, or wanted. Red immediately wanted to take it all back but that wasn't an option. "What the hell, Red, why didn't you tell me?!"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Hey everyone! I'm sorry it's been a bit since I uploaded something for this fic! It's actually fun to write, but pretty draining… I hope you all had good winter holidays! I know there's going to be another part after this one, it'll most likely be in Green's POV which I hadn't been planning on doing, but now will! I got kind of excited thinking and planning it all out haha. I wish this part had been longer but it's not short so that's good.

Thank you all so much for all the reviews! They've really inspired me to write more! It's why I picked up this fic again for this part in the first place! You guys are all great, and you make me like my writing more. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

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"_What the hell, Red, why didn't you tell me?!"_

Red clutched the phone in his hands tighter, resisting the urge to press it more firmly against his face as he did so. He hadn't wanted Green to get this angry tone in his voice, but there was no helping it now. Red stared for a moment at the wall in front of his face; the room being dark made it hard to see. He wished, for a moment, it was lighter in here so he could space out and stare there for hours, examining all the small cracks and crevices the wall had. He could stare at his own hair, the way his short black bangs were just long enough to be seen. He would tug at them, drawing them further past his eyes while he played with them. It would be a good source of a distraction… hell, even just thinking about it now was working, calming Red's nerves easily.

"I didn't want to." He said in response, making sure his words felt as cool as the rest of him did right now, distanced. He could almost hear the tension in the air on the other side of the line, so before Green could say anything else Red added, "Would you tell me?"

The silence on the other side of the line was more than enough of an answer to Red's question. Green was thinking it over, likely to agree with him.

"Yeah… I guess you're right..." Red heard Green swallow after that, and he stretched his legs out a bit, straightening his back while he did so. He hadn't realized it but the position he had been laying in had made his back tense.

"Were you ever planning on telling me?"

That was a good question. Had Red ever been planning to tell him? He thought it over for a moment in his mind, eyes flicking up while he did so, lips becoming a firm line while in thought.

"No."

A sharp intake of breath on the other line. Red could almost imagine Green laying there in his bed, curled up on side as well, but he would be facing the left, whereas Red liked to face to the right. He would have one hand on the phone, the other laying there next to him, and brown hair atop the blue pillows on his bed. His eyebrows would be pulled together, making a hard line, lines that would maybe one day get stuck there. Red hoped he would see those, and of course the laugh lines, Green would have lots of those… The thought made Red swallow, he wasn't supposed to be letting his mind wander right now, but it was hard not to let it.

"Hell Red, what were you planning to do then? You know what really freaks me out here? It's that you weren't planning to do anything about it. I mean, you haven't dated anyone at all… Not ever… Were… Were you just planning on continuing to like me? Huh?" Red paused for a bit in thought again, and before he could say something, Green talked more, his voice taking a firm reprimanding edge to it. "Just going to stay my best friend and in love with me? Without ever doing anything about it? You know, you deserve happiness too." Oh, well there it was. He was worrying about him now…

"I don't really see what the big deal about it is." Red replied.

"The big deal?!" Green exclaimed, hand grasping the phone tighter. "The big deal is that you deserve to get married! To get a house with someone one day! To be happy in that way!"

Red bit his lip for a second, Green really did sound upset… But the entire thing didn't make any sense to him, not a lick of it. "I would have been happy not doing that. I'm happy just being your friend." Brutal honesty, it hurt Red's throat just to say, but he meant every word of it.

"That's great! That's really great!" The words in themselves that Green was saying were happy, but how he said them wasn't. He sounded beyond upset; Red assumed it was all just because he didn't understand. "But what about all the other stuff? Huh?!"

"I don't really need that." But he sure as hell wanted it. "I've never had it before; I can't miss what I've never had."

Green paused, lost in thought. Red couldn't tell what he was thinking but he let out the tiniest of sighs. His best friend didn't get this whole ordeal, that much was obvious, but the biggest question was how it would affect them... He just wanted it all to go away…

"But you should have it." Green said quietly, the anger and frustration fading from his voice.

"Maybe."

"Red… What the hell were you going to do for the rest of your life, huh? Just follow me around?" They were soft probing words, searching for the pain that hadn't been caused to Red yet, but wondering how far down he had almost made the raven haired teen go.

"I was hoping when you got a house you would let me live with you and your wife." It had really been a hope of his… He could watch Green live his life, get the chance to be there as a friend. Maybe the entire thing sounded dangerous to Red's life, maybe it all made him seem like he was dangerously codependent but… It was what he wanted. It didn't put him in any danger; he wasn't depressed over it all…. Just the recent thoughts that Green would drop him from his life. Could he live without Green? Of course, he would be fine. But did he want to? No, oh god no. The thought made him want to vomit, but he would get through it all. Missing Green the entire way, feeling as if a large chunk of him was missing. He didn't want that life, and he wanted Green to understand this part of him, he wanted him to accept it, and he wanted all of this to just move on from there, going back to normal life only with Green now knowing this new fact about him. Red just wanted to see what happened to his friend, he wanted to be there to do it all with him, as his friend, as his whatever. He knew anything past that wouldn't happen, and this entire discussion was good… It would allow him to squash everything between them down once and for all.

"What? And you would just… Live with us?" Green's voice really sounded sad now, desperate. "Wouldn't that make you upset?"

"It would be better than living alone, but I could do that… I just wanted to stay around you. Both things are good." Red said dryly.

"Red… I…"

"What?" Red was fairly positive he didn't want to hear whatever Green was going to say next, but he wasn't going to stop him.

"I… I'm sorry I had no idea." He really did sound sorry, he sounded like he regretted the entire thing. It made Red want to hit the wall repeatedly with his head.

"It's okay… I didn't want you to. But, Green?" Red said this slowly, but it was important his next words got across clearly. It was obvious at this point that Green didn't care for him back, which made Red's insides sting faintly, but he wouldn't say anything about it. It was what he had expected all along, it was one of the reasons he hadn't wanted to talk about all of this in the first place.

"Yeah?"

"Don't treat me different. Can we just pretend this never happened?" It was a sincere question, one Red meant with every fiber of his being. He just wanted Green to agree so they could be done with it all.

"What? Are you sure? I could-"Red broke Green off midsentence.

"Yes, I'm sure. Let's just pretend none of this ever happened."


End file.
